It’s a scant list even for a Saturday, but before you all go get baked like Anita, consider these viewing choices: we’ve got a new SNL with an exciting host and some action in the Lifetime-Hallmark Vortex.

BRAD’S PICK:
Saturday Night Live [NBC, 11:30p]
Jenna Ortega is suddenly one of the biggest names around today thanks to her star-making run on Wednesday. It makes total sense that the premier sketch series would want her to host, and I can’t wait to see what she does. The 1975 supply the tunes and that’s… fine. I whisper into Lorne Michael’s ear “more Sarah Sherman please”

KATHERINE’S PICK:
Game of Love [Hallmark, 9p]
Tonight’s film presupposes that if I played more (or any) board games I could find love and share my bathroom with one person instead of three. I’d rather wear pants made of bees than play a board game, but a lot of you enjoy cooperate play, and this, a niche plot (two singles meet over the design of a board game about love) is fairly satisfactory. 

BUT, WAIT, THERE’S MORE (WELL, AT LEAST ONE MORE):

• What’s left is the Lifetime movie with the 10/10 Lifetime movie title Girl in a Closet. It’s part of a “Girl in [name a creepy peril]” series on the network. In this installation, a 10-year-old is accidentally placed with her murderous aunt Mia when her mother is suddenly sick. The mother is played by Remy Ma, so there’s that.