It’s almost spring! So worry not, there’s definitely religious movies this week. And going the opposite direction, there’s a Dungeons and Dragons movie. Plus new movies starring Jason Statham, Florence Pugh, and Michael B. Jordan. There’s also a comedy starring Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda that doesn’t embarrass or enrage me. Definitely see that one.

New in theaters today:

American Bolshevik is a documentary about coyotes. I feel like I have to point out that the “thousands” of feral horses on the plains were brought by colonizers, while the coyote is native to North America.

And on Netflix:

Tonight You’re Sleeping with Me, a romance? follows a bored journalist torn between her boring husband and young ex-boyfriend.

New in theaters Friday, March 3

Palm Trees and Power Lines is a coming-of-age drama by by Jamie Dack, who made a short film with a similar plot and same name. A teenage girl falls in love with a man twice her age. 😦

The Donor Party, a comedy, stars Malin Akerman, Jerry O’Connell, and Rob Corddry. A woman tricks her male friends into unprotected sex so she can have a child.

Children of the Corn, a prequel to the 1977 Stephen King novel, was written and directed by Kurt Wimmer. It was supposed to come out in 2020, and the reviews are pretty bad. The film will be available On Demand and on Shudder on March 21. I think it looks scary. 

Creed III, written by Ryan Coogler, and starring and directed by Michael B. Jordan, is the followup to 2018’s Creed II. Now that the boxer’s life is going well a childhood friend resurfaces, looking to prove himself.

Hunt Her, Kill Her, a thriller, is about lonely nightshift janitor who is attacked by masked intruders. No thank you!

Operation Fortune: Ruse de guerre, a Guy Ritchie film (pass), stars Jason Statham, Aubrey Plaza, Josh Hartnett, Cary Elwes, Bugzy Malone, and Hugh Grant.

That day on Netflix:

Love at First Kiss is a romance about a clairvoyant man whose true love is his best friend’s girlfriend.

New in theaters Wednesday, March 8, 2023

Tu Jhoothi Main Makkaar looks fun as hell. The Hindi romantic comedy follows a player who meets his match in a romantic battle of wits! The film will stream on Netflix after its theatrical run.

That day on Netflix:

Faraway follows a woman who runs away to Croatia, where her mother owned property, and must face the current tenant and her own issues. Looks good!

New in theaters Friday, March 10, 2023

Champions stars Kaitlin Olson, Ernie Hudson, and anti-vaxx conspiracy theorist Woody Harrelson star in a movie about…the Special Olympics.

Shonibar Bikel (Saturday Afternoon) is a Bangladeshi-German-Russian drama from 2019 about the 2016 Dhaka attack; terrorists attacked Holey Artisan Bakery, “the most beloved restaurants in Dhaka” and killed 22 people.  

The Magic Flute is a German adaptation of the 1791 opera by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. It stars Iwan Rheon, Jack Wolfe, Asha Banks, Amir Wilson, and F. Murray Abraham.

99 Moons is a Swiss erotic drama.

65 stars Adam Driver as a man who ends up on Earth 65 million years ago (oops) and must survive prehistoric threats. This sounds stupid as hell, but whenever the trailer is on at a bar I am distracted.

Righteous Thieves is a heist thriller starring Cam Gigandet.

Southern Gospel is a Christian movie about a man who gives up rock and roll (and a life of sin!) for Christ. I don’t think this is based on a true story? 

Scream VI, the sequel to last year’s Scream V, stars Melissa Barrera, Jasmin Savoy Brown, Mason Gooding, Jenna Ortega, Hayden Panettiere, Courteney Cox, Dermot Mulroney, Tony Revolori, and Samara Weaving. The surviving cast of the last movie try to move on with their lives–in New York City!–and are stalked by the Ghostface Killer. I find the idea that the killer is in my city deeply unsettling.

That day on Netflix:

Have a nice day! is a Mexican comedy about a fallen radio DJ who bags groceries in an effort to earn money. For rent? No, to go to his boss’s party and reunite with his lost love.

Luther: The Fallen Sun, a Luther movie, stars Idris Elba as disgraced (imprisoned!) detective John Luther who must stop a serial killer.

That following Thursday:

Still Time is a romantic comedy from Italy about a man who time travels into the future every few hours.

New in theaters Friday, March 17

Rodeo is a French-language film about a hot-headed teenage gearhead who embeds herself in the underground world of dirt biking.

The Ghost Within is a horror movie. A woman is haunted by the ghost of her sister while investigating her 20-year-old murder.

Pinball: The Man Who Saved the Game is a drama about Roger Sharpe, a journalist who reversed New York City’s ban on pinball machines in 1976.

Shazam! Fury of the Gods, sequel to 2019’s Shazam! stars vaccine-hater Zachary Levi. The foster kids have to become superheroes again and I guess they fight Helen Mirren? Why? What have I done to deserve this?

Moving On stars Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda as two friends determined to murder the husband of their deceased friend. I’m rooting for them.

The Origin of Evil is a French thriller: “A woman on the verge of financial collapse attempts to reconnect with her wealthy, estranged father and his new family.”

Inside stars Willem Defoe as an art thief trapped in a penthouse when the heist goes sideways.

A Snowy Day in Oakland, written and directed by Kim Bass, stars Nicole Ari Parker as a psychologist who opens an office in Oakland. Evan Ross, Keith David, Loretta Devine, Reno Wilson, Kimberly Elise, Deon Cole, Michael Jai White, and Marla Gibbs also star.

Streaming on Hulu:

Boston Strangler, starring Kiera Knightley as a journalist in pursuit of the notorious murderer.

And on Netflix:

In His Shadow is a drama about two brothers on opposite sides of a dire conflict. It’s from France.

The Magician’s Elephant, an adptation of the Kate DiCamillo novel, is an animated film about a boy searching for his lost sister.

And the following Thursday:

Johnny, a Polish drama about an ex-con who befriends a compassionate priest.

New in theaters Friday, March 24

Last Sentinel stars Kate Bosworth as a soldier in a dystopian war thriller.

The Tutor, a myster thriller, follows a man who tutors a rich kid who threatens to expose his secrets. 

The Lost King stars Sally Hawkins as Philippa Langley, a woman who successfully located the remains of Richard III. 

A Good Person stars Florence Pugh, Morgan Freeman, and is written and directed by Zach Braff. Did I imply this was worth excitement? Because it’s the same emotionally manipulative sludge he fed us with Garden State. Nevermind! 

John Wick: Chapter 4, a sequel to 2019’s Chapter 3, reunites Keanu Reeves with director Chad Stahelski as the legendary retired hitman travels the globe fighting foes. (Old friends are new enemies, etc.) 

New in Tuesday, theaters March 28, 2023

Helen Believe is a documentary about Olympic wrestler Helen Maroulis, the first and only American woman to win a gold medal in wrestling.

New in theaters Friday, March 31:

Spinning Gold is a drama about Casablanca Records founder Neil Bogart. Jeremy Jordan stars as Bogart. The film is written and directed by his son Timothy Scott Bogart.

A Thousand and One stars Teyana Taylor as a woman who kidnaps her son from foster care. The film won the grand jury prize at the Sundance Film Festival.

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is an action-adventure film inspired by the role-playing game. It stars Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez, Regé-Jean Page, Justice Smith, Sophia Lillis, Hugh Grant, and Daisy Head.

His Only Son tells the Old Testament story of Abraham.

Streaming that day on Netflix:

Kill Boksoon, a Korean thriller is about a single mom who is also an assassin. 

Murder Mystery 2 follow Nick and Audrey (Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston) after they’ve started a detective agency.