Christmas time is here again. Well, it probably should not be with 50 days til Christmas, but Saturdays abound with Lifetime and Hallmark movies and they always have shpilkis for the season, so get ready for some ugly, ugly sweaters. But we’re going to start with one of TV’s longest running shows where comedian Amy Schumer asks you emphatically to not call it a comeback. Well, she never said that, but her groundbreaking sketch series is back after almost half a decade and she celebrates it live from New York!

BRAD’S PICK:
Saturday Night Live [NBC, 11:30p]
Amy Schumer hosts and Steve Lacy is the musical guest on this week’s show. Now is a good time for Schumer to host with her self-named TV show back on which she has a lot to say about the upcoming elections. Sad to think this may be the last SNL in a democracy,

JASON’S PICK:
Orgasm Inc.: The Story of OneTaste [Netflix]
OneTaste was founded upon principles of better, longer sex and solving the “pleasure deficit disorder” by improving the female orgasm and also casting it as a form of meditation. I don’t know much about this organization, but unfortunately, it was accused of being a pyramid scheme, a scam, and/or a cult, but this Netflix doc has all the makings of a fascintating entry in the fucked company genre of documentaries. Also if you like this sort of profile in audio only form, check out the excellent Sounds Like a Cult podcast.

KATHERINE’S PICK:
Merry Swissmas [Lifetime, 8p]
Jodie Sweetin and Mutt from Schitt’s Creek star as two strangers who fall in love over Christmas. There’s an inn, some European holiday traditions, etc., etc., but I’m here to celebrate these two getting work. (Lifetime couldn’t let us have a bearded Mutt, though, could they.)

BUT, WAIT, THERE’S MORE:

• Other than the returning Weather Channel show Uncharted Adventures (what are we even doing here Weather Channel?!), all the rest of the action takes place in the LHV (Lifetime-Hallmark Vortex) and a lot of it is part of the Christmas creep. Yes, it’s time to pour yourself a cup of cocoa, gird yourself to hear that Mariah Carey xmas song EVERYWHERE, and switch on your cable for a marathon of Christmas romance. Karherine covered the Lifetime movie with the intriguing cast. Hallmark brings us two new movies. On its flagship station, there’s the parody-sounding title Lights, Camera, Christmas!, which has a bit of a meta aspect as it’s about romance on the set of a Hallmark-style Christmas movie. Over at Hallmark Movie Channel, the film du jour is A Maple Valley Christmas, a Christman movie set in Maple Valley, a town which, and we’re just spitballing here, loves Christmas quite a bit. Finally, we’ve got A Royal Christmas on Ice, where a slumming prince meets a local attractive woman and they kinda like the cut of each other’s jib. If that’s your sort of thing, and you like puzzles, it’s your chance to figure out where GAF is on your cable provider.
• OK, so turns out you really can’t escape that Mariah Carey song b/c even we are required to play it at least once this month as our outro song, so here goes nothing…