Happy Valentine’s Day to you and yours. We’re halfway through this dreaded month, but there’s still plenty to see in the theaters and at home. Behold, this month’s trailers!
Already in theaters:
Jackass Forever, the latest Jackass installment, well, does what Jackass does. The film is also streaming on Paramount, and no, I will not be taking questions about how I will absolutely stream this later, thank you.
The Wolf and the Lion, a scripted animal drama, is about a young girl who rescues a wolf and lion cub. I love to see it.
Moonfall is a science fiction film, presupposes the chaos that would ensue if a mysterious force knocked the moon out of orbit and into Earth’s path.
The Long Night – a couple’s quiet weekend “takes a bizarre turn” in this zombie movie.
Last Survivors is a drama about an off-the-grid father-son duo whose “utopia” (sure, Jan) is upset by an outsider.
Give or Take stars Norbert Leo Butz, the most underrated actor of our time! A man returns to his childhood home on Cape Cod and finds that his deceased father is still living there.
Catch the Fair One is a drama about a championship boxer searching for her sister.
Blacklight is a Liam Neeson thriller. (That’s a genre.)
Ronnie’s is a documentary about Ronnie Scott, a British jazz tenor saxophonist and jazz club owner.
Marry Me stars Jennifer Lopez as a jilted pop star who falls in love with Owen Wilson. The film is also streaming on Peacock.
Supercool, a teen comedy, explores the strains on friendship when one boy’s wish comes true.
Death on the Nile, an adaptation of the Agatha Christie novel, directed by and starring Kenneth Branagh (as Poirot, of course),
Tom Bateman, Annette Bening, Russell Brand, Ali Fazal, Dawn French, Gal Gadot, Armie Hammer, Rose Leslie, Emma Mackey, Sophie Okonedo, Jennifer Saunders, and Letitia Wright moves Murder on the Orient Express to a boat.
Cosmic Dawn is a thriller about a woman who joins a UFO cult.
Book of Love is a romantic comedy starring Sam Claflin as a novelist who finds success in Mexico, and love, when he meets the woman who interpreted his novel (and transformed it into a steamy romance). Similar to a plot from You’re the Worst, but fine.
I Want You Back stars Charlie Day, Jenny Slate, Gina Rodriguez, Scott Eastwood, Manny Jacinto, and Mason Gooding. Freshly dumped, Day and Slate team up to support each other in grief and get back together with their exes. It looks cute, but I’m wary, given its association with This Is Us and Love, Simon.
Streaming on Netflix:
My Best Friend Anne Frank is a Dutch drama about Anne Frank’s friendship with Hanneli Goslar. It is the first Dutch film about Anne Frank.
Looop Lapeta is an Indian Hindi-language comedy thriller. It is an adaptation of Run Lola Run.
Through My Window is a Spanish-teen film. A shy girl is in love with her handsome neighbor.
The Privilege: “A wealthy teen and his friends attending an elite private school uncover a dark conspiracy while looking into a series of strange supernatural events.” Ah, remember The Faculty?
Into the Wind, a Polish drama, finds a privileged teenage girl falling in love with a free spirited kite surfer.
Anne+: The Film: “Under pressure to finish her novel and move to Montreal for her relationship, a queer 20-something in Amsterdam searches for what she wants in life.”
Bigbug, a French comedy, depicts my worst nightmare. “Bickering suburbanites” find themselves trapped at home, together, when their smartphones revolt.
Love and Leashes is a South Korean romantic comedy. It is an adaptation of the animated series (“webtoon”) Moral Sense.
Tall Girl 2, the sequel to 2019’s Tall Girl, appears slightly better reviewed than its predecessor.
Streaming now on HBOMax:
Kimi (Made for Max Film), a thriller from Steven Soderbergh, stars Zoë Kravitz stars as a blue-haired tech agoraphobic tech savant in Seattle who inadvertently whitnesses a crime.
Just Call Out My Name, a concert film that previously aired on CNN, about Carole King and James Taylor.
Coming to Netflix this Thursday:
Fistful of Vengeance, a supernatural action thriller, is the sequel to the first season of Wu Assassins. The Wu team meet in Bangkok to avenge the death of one of their own.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the ninth in the series, and a sequel to the 1974 film of the same name, “focuses on the serial killer Leatherface targeting a group of businessmen and coming into conflict with a vengeful survivor of his previous murders.” Did anyone ask for this, because I sure didn’t.
In theaters this Friday:
Dog stars Channing Tatum in a movie that makes me worry I’m already dead: Tatum is a military veteran racing against the clock with a curmudgeonly dog in an effort to arrive at a funeral in time. But he’s going to spend the movie with a god! looking fine as hell! Does anyone else smell toast?
Too Cool to Kill is a comedy. An aspiring comedian finds himself tangled in intrigue and organized crime while aspiring to greater career highs.
Strawberry Mansion is “an American surrealist science fiction adventure romantic comedy film.” Tall order. A man falls in love with an eccentric woman after he audits her dreams, via VHS tapes. Could pair well with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Uncharted, a film adaptation of the videogame, stars Tom Holland, Mark Wahlberg, Sophia Ali, Tati Gabrielle, and Antonio Banderas.
A Fairy Tale After All finds a stubborn teenage girl transported to a land of fantasy.
The Cursed is a supernatural horror film. A nineteenth century village in France finds itself plagued by an otherworldly beast.
A Banquet, a horror movie, explores grief when a widowed mother finds that her daughter is maybe possessed.
Finding Carlos, a drama inspired by The Nutcracker, “features several music-and-dance sequences that showcase a wide range of dance styles, from hip-hop to Kazakhstan folk dances.”
Coming to theaters Friday, February 25:
Studio 666 is a supernatural horror comedy. The Foo Fighters find themselves–or Dave Grohl, at least–battling a supernatural force while recording a studio album.
The Desperate Hour stars Naomi Watts as a woman looking for her missing child following an active shooting. The reviews are not good.
Butter is a drama. It looks bad. It stars Mira Sorvino, Mykelti Williamson, Brian Van Holt, Ravi Patel, Annabeth Gish/ and Alex Kersting.
Cyrano, the eighteenth? film-adaptation of Cyrano de Bergerac stars Peter Dinklage, Haley Bennett, Kelvin Harrison Jr., and Ben Mendelsohn. The film is directed by Joe Wright and received favorable reviews. Something about the trailer wants me to root for a different ending, which is foolish, given the source material and Wright’s abysmal work in the past (Atonement, to start).
Moon Manor, a “true-ish story” (whatever that means!) follows a man with Alzheimer’s on what he has decided is his last day.
Let Me Be Me is a documentary: “The Westphal family learns that its 6-year-old son, Kyle, is on the autism spectrum. Fearing they may never develop a real connection to him, they embark on a radical journey in which they compassionately join Kyle in his unique behaviors. Twenty years later, the entire family looks back at his path from social isolation to professional clothing designer.”
On Netflix that day:
Restless, a French thriller: “After going to extremes to cover up an accident, a corrupt cop’s life spirals out of control when he starts receiving threats from a mysterious witness.” I’d rather wear pants made of bees.
Tyler Perry’s A Madea Homecoming brings back Madea. “family drama erupts at her great-grandson’s college graduation celebration,” and you know who’s gonna handle it? Tyler Perry’s Madea.
Available on Hulu:
No Exit, which lacks a trailer, is a thriller adapted from the 2017 novel by Taylor Adams. A group stranded in a blizzard finds their life-or-death situation direr when it is revealed that a member of the group is a kidnapping victim.