What To Watch: 12/04/2021

There’s a show with a name hiding a curse word and Annie Murphy is not in it? Her agent’s not going to be too happy. There’s also music profiles, a whole lot of Lifetime and Hallmark, and the latest chance for those of us who enjoy a good half hour (or more) of home renovation gawking.

A Clusterfunke Christmas [Comedy Central, 7p]
I’m not sure if Arrested Development or Schitt’s Creek should be the first to sue this comedy about an inn with a questionable name, but the cast of this parody of Hallmark Christmas movies is pitch perfect, featuring Rachel Dratch and Ana Gasteyer as the quaint owners of the small town inn. In the roles of the Christmas-loving ruggedly handsome local and the calculating busy businesswoman from the big city, respectively, are the excellent-in-everything (and he’s in just about everything) Cheyenne Jackson and my favorite Crazy Ex-Girlfriend cast member Vella Lovell.

Ozzy Osbourne: Black Sabbath Frontman [Reelz, 8p]
Much more than an eater of bats and doddering dad of one of the earlier reality TV fams, Osbourne, as lead singer of Black Sabbath in the 1960s and ’70s influenced just about every metal, hardcore, and punk band to follow. Reelz looks at this part of his career in their latest doc.


  • By our lazy research, Holmes Family Rescue is the 12th series builder/renovater/philanthropist Mike Holmes has helmed and to which he’s attached part of his name to (11 as Holmes, 1 as Mike). The HGTV show finds the busy man working with his beardy sons as they redo renovations which were botched the first time around.
  • By the title of Drew Michael’s second hourlong stand-up special, Drew Michael: Red Blue Green (and the hyperlinked clip), it’s clear the SNL writer has had it up to here with the absurdity of the current political climate and is just done with it–which could be cool, or kinda privilege-y as the writers of this piece have had it up to here with bothsidesism. We’ll see how it goes.
  • If it weren’t chronicling an almost unimaginable tragedy from earlier this year–the Miami building collape–the Discovery doc When Buildings Collapse would make us cynically chuckle with its title mimicking that of a Simpsons fake show about the dumbest television imaginable (and “Simpsons” is the first autofill when you enter those three words). The cynical part may still apply, however. Hopefully this will be more about exposing the dangerous lack of infrastructure oversight that led to this horror than about gawking at victims.
  • The Lifetime-Hallmark Vortex is practically overflowing on this Saturday three weeks before Christmas. On Lifetime’s movie arm (LMN), we have a non-holiday offering (although its images suggest it takes place in Winter), Secrets in the Wilderness, about a couple Lisa and Tyler whose marriage counselor is at best weird, at worst (if you’ve met Lifetime, you know it will be) murderous. Over on regular old Lifetime a gospel music legend tries his hand with cinema, hosting the movie Kirk Franklin’s A Gospel Christmas. Hallmark brings us A Very Merry Bridesmaid with Emily Osment as a sarcastic single holiday hater in a wedding party on her 30th birthday–which is also… Christmas? Will she find love? It looks bleak… but what’s that? A ruggedly handsome local tradesman? We’re all rooting for you, Emily! Not on either network, but firmly in the LHV-iverse, Up TV brings us Christmas Beneath The Stars where it looks like a small town comes together to save… itself(?) on December 25. Finally, on GAC Family, royalty slums with a commoner and sparks fly in Jingle Bell Princess with Trevor Donovan and Merritt Patterson.

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