Happy April! Trailers-slash-previews for all of April’s movies (streaming and at the box office) are here. Not only is this post on time, I’ve written a description of the film for your convenience. (And it’s not a review of the trailer. I was once mocked at the bar for that, and no, I have not let it go.)

Coming to theaters Friday April 2

The Unholy is your weekly horror release inspired by organized religion. It stars Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Cary Elwes, Katie Aselton, William Sadler. Do you think the ongoing trend in writing and producing horror movies inspired by religion is an indication of childhood trauma? Is there a scarier hymn than Ave Maria?

Blood Brothers is a mystery starring Christopher James Baker, Jacqueline Bisset, Gordon Clapp, and Christian Coulson. It looks boring but also intriguing, much like many too-old for me mysteries from the ‘90s.

The Girl Who Believes in Miracles is your weekly religious drivel. Hey, between that and the horror movie, it’s like we’re “back to normal.” It’s too bad we had two mass shootings, one of which was definitely a hate crime, first.

Every Breath You Take is a grey-tinged creepy thriller starring Casey Affleck. These jokes would write themselves, if I thought he warranted dignity; he does not.

WeWork: Or The Making And Breaking Of A $47 Billion Unicorn is new today on Hulu:

This documentary looks at the rise and fall of co-working space of WeWork. I hope Laci Mosley covers it on Scam Goddess or The Con. (I know Whoopi Goldberg hosts The Con, and I love cons, but I tune in for Laci.) 

Tersanjung the Movie came out on Netflix today:

A woman finds herself in a love triangle in this drama from Indonesia.

The following movies come out tomorrow:

Concrete Cowboy, starring Idris Elba, and Caleb McLaughlin (Stranger Things), has a lot of buzz! !! A young man spends his summer in North Philadelphia, where he is exposed to his estranged father’s “vibrant urban-cowboy subculture.”  

Just Say Yes, a comedy from the Netherlands, finds a woman’s perfect wedding shattered when the groom cancels. How 1994. 

Madame Claude, a “gritty” take on the French “brothel-keeper to the stars,” is set in 1960s Paris.

Sky High: A mechanic from Madrid gets into the dangerous world of heists after he falls in love with a woman he (and no one else) has any respect for. I can’t believe we’re still making movies like this! Do you think clubs will survive COVID?

The following films will stream Wednesday:

Dolly Parton: A MusiCares Tribute Can there be too many streaming specials about Dolly Parton? No. For better or worse, this MusiCares concert features performances from others. 

This Is A Robbery: The World’s Biggest Art Heist This documentary examines the biggest art heist in history, which promised a $10 million reward.

Coming to theaters Friday April 9

Voyagers is a sci-fi thriller starring Colin Farrell, Tye Sheridan, Lily-Rose Depp. After a full year surviving the pandemic, a thriller about an 86-year journey does not particularly interest me, even if it stars thirst trap Colin Farrell.

Moffie is a U.K. war drama my parents are going to rent from Red Box, hate, and blame me for. This is your warning! Here’s the synopsis: “A young man in 1981 South Africa must complete his brutal and racist two years of compulsory military service while desperately maintaining the secrecy of his homosexuality.” If you watch Black Butterflies you can have a double feature of a ruined day. (This isn’t to minimize the importance of these stories. These stories should be told!) 

On Netflix:

Have You Ever Seen Fireflies? This Turkish film is about an “irrelevant, wunderkind.”

Night in Paradise A South Korean gang member falls in love with a terminally ill woman when he flees to Jeju Island.

Thunder Force stars Melissa McCarthy and Octavia Spencer as two former friends who are inadvertently injected with super powers.

Streaming Monday, April 12:

New Gods: Nezha Reborn is an animated film from Singapore: “While living as an ordinary deliveryman and motor racing fan, Nezha encounters old nemeses and must rediscover his powers as a Chinese deity to protect his loved ones.”

Streaming Wednesday, April 14:

The Soul is a thriller from Singapore. A man and his wife “uncover occult secrets” while facing a “life-or-death” dilemma.

Why Did You Kill Me? does not have a trailer at presstime. The documentary follows the 2006 murder of 24-year-old Crystal Theobald, and her mother’s efforts to find her killers using Crystal’s social media profiles (notably, MySpace).

Streaming Thursday, April 15:

Ride or Die is a road movie “about two women on the run with nowhere to go.” 

Coming to theaters Friday April 16

Jakob’s Wife is a horror film. A stifled minister’s wife finds a lust for life when she’s Turned.

Monday is a romance drama starring Sebastian Stan, Denise Gough, Dominique Tipper, Yorgos Pirpassopoulos. I made Sebastian Stan a hot tea, once.

Reminiscence premieres on HBO Max today. The science fiction drama, written and directed by Lisa Joy, stars Hugh Jackman, Rebecca Ferguson, Thandie Newton, Daniel Wu, and Cliff Curtis. Set in the future, in Miami as the waters rise, Jackman falls in love with a woman who may have committed a series of murders, which he discovers as he offers clients the opportunity to relive their own memories.

Coming to Netflix this weekend:

Ajeeb Daastaans, from Netflix India, is an anthology of four strangely contrasting stories which delve into fractured relationships and unexplored spaces.

Into the Beat is a teen dance drama from Germany! Will the talented teen choose hip hop or ballet? Will she follow her hearts or her PARENTS DREAMS?! HAS SHE SEEN ALL SHE WANTS TO DO IS DANCE?!

Coming to theaters Friday April 23

Mortal Kombat, a 2021 adaptation of the 1992 game, and reboot of the 1995 series, stars Lewis Tan, Jessica McNamee, Josh Lawson, and Hiroyuki Sanada. This film, from Warner Bros., will also stream on HBO Max.

Trigger Point Barry Pepper stars in this thriller about a retired U.S. special operative who becomes part of an elite “invisible” team.

The Asset and Street Gang: How We Got to Sesame Street are scheduled to be released, but trailers are unavailable at press time. (I suspect their dates have changed.)

Coming to Netflix:

Tell Me When A workaholic takes a break to see Mexico City’s sites. 

Coming to theaters Friday April 30

Limbo This drama follows Omar, a musician separated by his Syrian family. Stuck on a remote Scottish island, he anxiously awaits the fate of his asylum quest.

Four Good Days based on a 2016 Washington Post article, Glenn Close and Mila Kunis star as an estranged daughter and mother who must contend with the next four days while the daughter waits for an opioid antagonist injection.