Children’s holiday episodes often fall into two categories: a take on O. Henry (like the time TV’s Laura Ingalls sold her horse) or a gathering of the cast to transform a lonely curmudgeon into a loveable elder.

This Is The Weirdest Timeline!

Pete & Pete takes the helm of the latter but in the only way Nickelodeon’s second-strangest sitcom knows how: a boxing match against Santa, trash theft, and manipulation of the weirdest timeline.

Desperate to hold on to the cozy comfort of Christmas morning, Little Pete convinces the Wrigley family–and the town itself–to keep Christmas going. That includes presents, of course, but good cheer, too, and Little Pete’s plan works. Pit Stain, the town bully, is no longer a threat to Big Pete and with several days off work, the adults are feeling relaxed. (Destitute, but calmer than before.)

The Garbage Man Speaketh!

The Yuletide cheer is short-lived: the Garbage Man, a self-described “Christmas killing machine…Crusher of dreams” will not be satisfied until he can collect (and crush) everyone’s trees, and all the joy they represent. (Fun fact about me, more than once my family left the artificial tree up until February.) A battle of wills ensues when the Wrigley Family refuses to give theirs up (see: boxing Santa) and the Garbage Man refuses to collect any household trash at all.

Which is totally fine. This is, after all, New Jersey (sorry) and because everyone is so happy, it doesn’t matter long-term that it stinks. Ultimately, Big Pete steals every Christmas tree back, lights them in the center of town, and Little Pete-splains (the only mansplanation we’ll allow) that the tingly feeling in your chest is the Christmas Spirit, not a cardiac event.

Could Little Pete Even Save The Roast Beast?

I’m not sure how Little Pete would defeat the Grinch, but I’m confident his ease with electricity and inciting a riot would juice up Whoville in no time at all. Seeing this in print, one wonders if Loren Bouchard drew a straight line across the interstate between Little Pete and Louise Belcher.

Memorable Quotes

Little Pete: “The tree stays, Fungus Lick” (LP)

Big Pete: {On giving Little Pete a flamethrower} You can use it to clean our room.”

Watch The Adventures of Pete & Pete‘s “O Christmas Pete, O Christmas Pete” (Season 3, Episode 11) here