Forget it, Screen Scholar readers (reader?), it’s Stumptown — one of the more intriguing network debuts of this busy week.

KATHERINE’S PICK:
Stumptown [ABC, 10p]
Cobie Smulders stars as a former marine turned private investigator playing by her own rules (we’d usually not be in favor of that…) in this intriguing adaptation of the eponymous graphic novel series from Oni Press. Jake Johnson and Michael Ealy also star, and as far as we know, they don’t take their pensions to open a successful coffee roastery.

JASON’S PICK:
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia [FXX, 10]
The bizarre and sordid adventures of “The Gang” should have become tiresome years ago, but with its ability to explore new frontiers in meta and its endless originality and the lovable awfulness of said “Gang,” a fourteenth season still feels exciting. And this season will include Dolph Lundgren as the amazingly named John Thundergun. Tonight “The Gang Gets Romantic.”

BRAD’S PICK:
American Horror Story: 1984 [FX, 10p]
The killer is out of the asylum, leaving the campers are ripe for the taking. This season of AHS is a fun retro nightmare. Be sure to set your Betamax to record it.

ALSO ON TAP TONIGHT:

• Those “puppets making prank calls” (as Jon Stewart so eloquently put it during his classic Crossfire shutdown) returns to Comedy Central for a 5th season. That Stewart video happened during the 2004 election, so it’s been awhile for Crank Yankers.
• South Park, on the other hand, has aired a season on Comedy Central most years since the mid-1990s, and its 23rd season starts with an episode called “Mexican Joker”… woo hoo?
• Sticking with allusions to classic 1990s shows, if you took MTV’s Cartoon Sushi — but added live-action to the mix — you might have the new FXX program Cake. The humans include Natasha Lyonne biting the head off a pigeon for some reason.
• To its credit, the first season of Fox’s fever dream of a celebrity singing competition attracted some impressively cool stars — from T-Pain to Tommy Chong to currently unraveling human trainwreck Antonio Brown. The Masked Singer returns for a second go-around tonight, and while the premise insures we have no idea who this season’s guests are, the costumes include a ladybug, ice cream, and (our favorite) a thingamajig.
• Modern Family, ABC’s tentpole and longest-running comedy begins to wrap things up with the debut of its eleventh and final season. Haley has twins, yo!
• Other returning shows include The Goldbergs, its spin-off Schooled, the underappreciated (if sometimes underbaked) Single Parents, and all three of the Chicago municipal services show: Chicago Med, Chicago P.D., and Chicago Fire.