As we get set to horrify dogs — and this year over half of the country’s population (tanks?!?!?! really?!?!), we have a few television suggestions whether you wish to run away from the festivities, celebrate the country’s promise in alternate ways, but not really if you are all hunky-dory about what’s going on, because you probably know your plans tonight already anyway. Either way, let’s hear it for potato salad and family members who always have your back and perhaps a tilted ear.
Stranger Things [Netflix]
Hawkins in the summer: a nice place to visit, but you wouldn’t want to live there. Unless you are a fan of 80s movies… Netflix’s surreal creepshow is back for a third season. Eleven, Dustin and the gang are still facing the evils of the upside down… and the perils of romance? You may never look at rats the same way.
Into The Dark: Culture Shock [Hulu]
I’m only recommending this to suggest the question what could Hulu’s holiday horrorfest come up with that’s more frightening than the autocratic spectacle going on in DC
A Capitol Fourth [PBS, 8p]
With Carole King and no tanks. My dad, Mr. Hill says, ” Mr. President, anyone who is not a freaking draft dodger had seen enough tanks for a lifetime.”
ALSO ON TOP TONIGHT:
- If you’re looking for something traditional, like, say, a procedural — maybe one that tweaks the most famous detective legend of all time — the almost criminally underrated Elementary has a new episode with the cheeky title “From Russia With Drugs.” It’s on CBSssssss.
- While we’re not going to talk about the other event in DC, but we will say kudos to MSNBC for not showing it.
- NBC itself is airing the NYC festivities, the Macy’s Fourth of July Fireworks.
- We can’t decide if the DC tank antics will be more unsettling than the Independence Day special episode Dr. Pimple Popper: Red, White & Ewww. That’s really a thing that’s happening. And it’s Part 2, so not sure if it will make sense if you haven’t caught the first part. It’s on TLC. God blessed America for we.
- However, the real heart of America can be found inside MTV’s Jersey Shore: Family Vacation — whose new season is previewed tonight.