Box Office Weekend: March 1, 2019

Following last weekend’s Oscars telecast, A Star Is Born will be returning to theaters. This week’s big release is the final Madea installment, but there are plenty of thrillers and documentaries to satisfy you, too.

Tyler Perry’s A Madea Family Funeral is the eleventh and final Madea film, which finds the family in rural Georgia for a funeral.

The Wedding Guest is a critical flop (it’s Rotten) starring Dev Patel (who won’t let himself into my heart! Just be in good movies!!) as a “mysterious man” who travels from England to Pakistan, kidnaps the (“willing”) bride-to-be to rescue her from an arranged marriage…oh, for god’s sake, what is this drivel?

Greta stars Isabelle Huppert and Chloë Grace Moretz; Huppert leaves a purse on a train, and it’s returned by Moretz, a young, lonely 20-something looking for a mother figure, which she finds in Huppert, who turns out to be a creepy stalker. I recommended this for fellow Scholar Fiona, but she thinks it’s too scary.

Mapplethorpe is a documentary about artist Robert Mapplethorpe (we know you read Just Kids), “offer[ing] a nuanced portrait of an artist at the height of his craft and of the self-destructive impulses that threaten to undermine it all.” Directed by Ondi Timoner and produced by Eliza Dushku.

Little Woods stars Lily James and Tessa Thompson as two sisters who “work outside the law” in rural North Dakota (!) to make ends meet. With the authorities on to her, Thompson’s character is ready to stop (helping the poor across Canada for health care), but her sister needs her help. MY GOD I need to see this movie. A wider release is planned this spring.

Transit is a German drama, and fucking yikes is all I can say about its description: “Georg (Franz Rogowski), a refugee from fascism who pursues Marie (Paula Beer), the wife of the dead man whose identity he has assumed.”

Virginia Minnesota: “Two young women, torn apart by a childhood tragedy, unexpectedly reunite and embark on an illuminating 24-hour journey, where they unlock memories of long-forgotten innocence and what it means to truly believe.”

The Cannibal Club is a Brazilian horror film about rich people who literally dine on their employees. Gross.

Furie is a Vietnamese action thriller that says, Taken but with a young girl, no U2 concert, and a mother out for revenge. I would take my mother to see this.

The Hole in the Ground is a supernatural thriller about a woman who must contend with her child after he falls into a SINKHOLE in the FOREST near the HOUSE THEY MOVED INTO (WHY–WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT) and he becomes an evil monster. And while I recognize this is a grab at Irish folklore, this sound like they went about it all wrong. Push that little kid in the whole again and be done with it.

Woman At War is an Icelandic action film about a fifty-year-old recluse “waging a one-woman war” against the aluminum industry. Given the opportunity to adopt a child, she plans one last sabotage before coming a mother.

Apollo 11 is a documentary about Apollo 11 and features never before seen large! Format! Footage! Take me to the movies.

Today on Netflix:

Cricket Fever: Mumbai Indians

Larva Island: Season 2

Losers

Northern Rescue

River’s Edge

The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind

Trailers for Your Son, Patriot Act With Hasan Minhaj: Volume 2, streaming every Sunday,

Available tomorrow:

Romance Is a Bonus Book, streaming every Saturday

Available March 6:

Secret City: Under the Eagle, season 2

Available March 7:

The Order

Today on Hulu, this month’s Into the Dark:

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