Box Office Weekend: Friday, August 24, 2018

I’m out of town, which I mention not to brag, but to cover my ass: Occasionally release dates for films change. Sometimes a streaming service will suddenly release something new. Anyway, enjoy a new Melissa McCarthy film, I’m out in the wilderness and have to hope it will still be play next month.

The Happytime Murders stars Melissa McCarthy as a detective in a world where humans and Muppets live together. It’s an R-rated world, and Muppets are getting murdered! (And also spraying an obscene amount of semen. Jesus Christ.) I’m so excited about this I might get a lob next week.

An L.A. Minute stars Gabriel Byrne as a celebrated author whose destructive behavior is ruining his life. Kiersey Clemmons stars, too! This movie looks terrible.

Crime + Punishment is a documentary released by Hulu. It chronicles class action lawsuit against the NYPD and its illegal policing quotas, and how the policy affected the lives and minorities and Black and Latino whistlebower cops.

Support The Girls is a light-hearted comedy starring Regina Hall as a patient and kind manager at a sports bar where the waitress are scantily clad (it’s called Double Whammies). I would like a boss with zero tolerance for disrespect. (I’d also like Broadway star and comedian Lea DeLaria to hang around my workplace as muscle.)

A.X.L. is a family fantasy about what happens when you befriend an atomic dog made of military-grade technology.

The Bookshop is a(n allegedly uplifting) drama. It stars Emily Mortimer, a widow, who opens a bookshop, and angers town resident Patricia Clarkson (women, am I right?) while also charming a local shut-in, played by Bill Nighy.

Beautifully Broken is a God movie. “As three fathers fight to save their families, their lives become intertwined in an unlikely journey across the globe, where they learn the healing power of forgiveness and reconciliation.” None of the men are Kevin Sorbo, but Eric Roberts turns up somewhere.

Papillon stars Charlie Hunnam as Henri Charrière, a safecracker “unjustly” convicted of murder and sent to a penal colony. He escapes with the help of another prisoner (played by Rami Malek). The film is based on Charrière’s autobiography of the same name. It was previously adapted in 1973; written by Dalton Trumbo and starred Steve McQueen and Dustin Hoffman.

What Keeps You Alive is a Canadian thriller. Two women, celebrating the anniversary of their marriage (in the woods! why!) discover that one of them is not what she seems.

Out today on Netflix:

Ask the StoryBots, season two, is released, but there’s no trailer as of press time.

Bert Kreischer: Secret Time — you may remember Bert from such travel shows as Bert the Conqueror and Trip Flip.

Ghoul “is a chilling series about a prisoner who arrives at a remote military interrogation centre and turns the tables on his interrogators, exposing their most shameful secrets.”

The After Party is about a “rapper who goes viral for all the wrong reasons.” This doesn’t seem inherently racist. If I weren’t out of town, I’d ask Navani over for a drink so we could watch together. Pairs well with Sorry to Bother You and Dope.

The Innocents…a girl finds out she’s a shapeshifter!

Trolls: The Beat Goes On!, season 3

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