Weekend Box Office: September 23, 2016

Sully was No. 1 again last weekend, landing $21.6 million in the Hudson. The Blair Witch burst out of the woods into second, with $9.5 million, while Bridget Jones’s Baby delivered $8.5 million.

Audrey & Daisy is a documentary about the sexual assault and subsequent bullying (in the press, community, and on social media) of Daisy Coleman (whose house was burned down), Audrie Potts (who died). The documentary is exclusive to Netflix. Those grown ass men blaming these girls should be ashamed of themselves.

The Magnificent Seven is a remake of the 1960 classic, which was a remake of Seven Samurai, because we can’t have nice things. It stars Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt, Ethan Hawke, Vincent D’Onofrio, Lee Byung-hun, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Martin Sensmeier, Peter Sarsgaard and Haley Bennett. The film is directed by Antoine Fuqua and written by Nic Pizzolatto, who unleashed True Detective on us. I asked an old lady last weekend to just watch The Seven Samurai on Hulu and she put her hand in my face with disgust. Enjoy this piece of garbage, windbag.

I.T. stars Pierce Brosnan as a “self-made” man married to Anna Friel who ends up in a “deadly game of cat-and-mouse” with his I.T. guy. (In America, the star of Marcella is The Wife.)

Storks is an animated comedy starring Jennifer Aniston and Amdy Samberg. Storks have moved on from delivering babies to delivering packages for an Internet retail giant, until one accidentally generates a baby. Is that where surprise babies come from?

The Lovers and the Despot is a documentary about how film-obsessed Kim Jong-Il kidnapped divorced couple Shin Sang-ok and Choi Eun-hee in an effort to bring a powerhouse film industry to North Korea. Choi was the most popular actress in South Korea, and renowned throughout the world, at the time of her kidnapping. Shin had recently fallen from grace in South Korea, but was enormously successful. I’m going to watch the hell out of this. It will pair well with Paul Fischer’s A Kim Jong-Il Production (and maybe even The Orphan Master’s Son).

Queen of Katwe is a biographical drama, directed by Mira Nair, about chess prodigy Phiona Mutesi. The film is produced by ESPN and Disney, and comes with a heaping plate of God on the side. David Oyelowo and Lupita Nyong’o also star.

Generation Startup is a documentary about six college grads trying to start their own business. But in Detroit, so that’s less miserable to take in than if they were on the Upper West Side and ruining my good time. Oh, cool, there’s a girl, too!

Beauty and the Beast is a French film telling the story of the classic fairy tale (which yes, Disney will release next year, too). Léa Seydoux and Vincent Cassel star.

Goat is a fraternity film starring Nick Jonas and James Franco.

Girl Asleep is an Australian coming-of-age-comedy about almost-fifteen Greta Driscoll. Shy and awkward, she finds herself in a parallel universe after her parents throw her a surprise birthday party.

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