Weekend Box Office: August 26, 2016

Things are pretty bad at the box office. Suicide Squad continues to plummet in profits but remains No. 1 with $20.9 million. New releases are fairing poorly, with Ben-Hur making only $11.2 million, dropping to the sixth spot by Monday morning, because no one wants a born-again re-telling of an old, epic film. Pete’s Dragon, a notorious summer bomb, eked $11.3 million. This week’s films are not too exciting either, though Southside with You looks absolutely charming.

Space Dogs: Adventure to the Moon finds the third installment of the Space Dogs series sending the canines to the moon.

Mechanic: Resurrection stars Jason Statham, returning to the sequel to the 2011 film The Mechanic, in a plot that seems very similar to all of Statham’s films.

The Hollars stars John Krasinski, Anna Kendrick, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead in this comedy about a family with some issues.

Southside with You is a romantic drama about Barack and Michelle’s first date in Chicago. Pass me the tissues, Navani!

Remember the Goal is a boring, religious film about a perky blonde woman who coaches snotty teens (who love pot!) on a track team. Nobody on this teen quits…God!

Greater is an inspiring sports drama about “the greatest walk-on in the history of college football.” My hunch says there’s some God stuff in this film, too.

Mia Madre is a French-Italian drama that looks as charming as Southside With You. Margherita Buy is a filmmaker and John Turturro is her unreliable star.

Hands of Stone is a boxing drama starring Edgar Ramírez and Robert De Niro. Remember how charming Edgar Ramírez was in Joy?

Complete Unknown stars Rachel Weisz, Michael Shannon, Kathy Bates, and Danny Glover. A mysterious woman (Weisz) complicates a man’s life when he moves from a different state and into her town.

Uncle Kent 2, the sequel to Joe Swanberg’s Uncle Kent, finds Ken at a comic convention and confronting the apocalypse.

In Order Of Disappearance is a dark comedy starring Bruno Ganz and Stellan Skarsgård. A man voted Citizen of the Year loses it when his son is murdered. Seems fair!

Don’t Breathe is a horror film about a young, single mom who helps her friends break into the home of a wealthy, blind, and insane old man and find themselves in lots of violent, bloody trouble. This is why you don’t move your kid out of NYC.

Natural Selection is a thriller wherein Anthony Michael Hall is a creepy school cop at a school where all of the teens are dumb bullies. See the 2012 film of the same name instead, as it is GREAT and lacks gay panic.

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